It's such a powerFULL question, that even slightly shifting the emphasis of the words can change the feelings that wake withIN us and the answers that spill out. Making it that much harder for us to answer.
Maybe in the past, you were spitefully asked 'what do you want?', spiced with ridicule to close you down. Maybe it was said in anger and darkness to push you away.
Maybe, just maybe, you were asked in curiosity, freed to open and explore the layers of your own depth.
I've asked hundreds of real people this question over the last 10 years, as people have gathered on our floor, in the sacred space of Wednesday night, to uncover their answer. Not because we are similar or even because we want the same thing, but because we have a common desire to KNOW OURSELVES BETTER.
When we stop faking it, we have so much in common. On both extremes. Everyone you know, including you, has been the victim at some point, the martyr, the beast of burden. Everyone has been rejected, abandoned, humiliated, treated unjustly and betrayed on some level. Everyone, at times, has worked their ass off and given more than thought they could. But some move on, and some stay stuck. Some learn from the experience and some replay the story until the record is worn and cracking. And thats the other extreme. The Victors, the producers, the genuinely happy creators, the people who KNOW what they want. We are all capable of both; of rolling in our own misery or throwing our own victory party.
It comes down to not just being willing to ask, but being willing to honestly answer, 'WHAT DO YOU WANT?'.
Tommy and I have committed everyday, to first ask OURSELVES this question. Then to intentionally ask each other at the start of important or challenging conversations, 'what do you want?'. 'What outcome are you looking for?' We even gotten the kids in on the action and ask them too, before we dive into the rabbit hole with them.
I whisper as I admit this, but in my head, I often assume everyone should be able to read my mind. I'll stalk myself saying sometimes (to my crazy ass self), 'if they really loved you, they would know want you want. They'd give it to you. They'd make it for you. Hell, they would wrap it up in a little box and bring it to you just to surprise you'. But no one can read your mind.
LETTING OUR INTENTIONS BE KNOWN is our Superpower. For us, it's like setting the GPS before we start a trip. There are several options of routes to take and rerouting when we get lost or run into roadblocks, or hell, run into each other head on. It is so tempting to give up on trying to communicate. To let frustration rule. To walk away and blame everyone for not getting you.
Stewing in silence because you feel shafted is a waste of your precious time.
The question is 'What do you WANT?'
No matter what happened, no matter what story you're telling yourself, what do you WANT? is a way off of the hamster wheel you're on.
It's an invitation, that when accepted becomes and exploration and declaration.
Let that SHIT GO Y'ALL!
Let go of what you thought you wanted and didn't get.
Let go of what you thought you wanted and was taken from you.
Let go of the stories you are telling yourself about who and what is stopping you from having what you want.
Let it Go. AND Give IN to what YOU TRULY WANT, right now.
And then breathe deep and gather the courage to take to steps to start creating it.
The people in your life are the cocreators of your reality. Let them in on your plan. They are here to help. No one knows what you want. And if YOU don't know what you truly want to create in your life, it is completely impossible for someone else to help you get it.
Its a new day, ask yourself over and over until you get the real answer,